Children are a gift. The first thing that you will bestow on that little gift is a name. It is a supremely important decision and some might tell you that there is no wrong answer, but there's a long line of schoolyard bullies ready to prove you wrong on that one. Even once your child has left the schoolyard, a fair amount of people might end up giving awkward glances at best or bringing back that schoolyard ridicule at worst.
You've probably agonized over the decision for nine long months, or perhaps even longer. I've known for years that I wanted to name my firstborn after one of my grandparents, but I would've shifted that plan around if one of their names had appeared on this list. Some of these names could never have been predicted to be terrible names when their bearers were born. We aren't making any predictions in this article, but we will list off 10 of the worst baby girl names out there currently.
Before we hop into things, I'll remind you that whether your child's name stinks or not... Their feet definitely shouldn't. We've got grape shoe deodorizer powder and grape foot deodorizer spray. Not a fan of grapes? We also offer bubblegum shoe deodorizer powder and bubblegum foot deodorizer spray. Even if they have one of the worst baby names, at least their feet will be on point. Now, let's jump into things!
5 Worst Baby Girl Names
I knew more than one Alexa way back before Amazon started taking over the world... I can only imagine that things have gotten much harder for those poor souls since then. Whether or not someone actually has a smart home, they definitely know about the Amazon Alexa. It's the equivalent of naming your child Google Home.
Alexa is a perfectly serviceable name, or at least it was... Now that it's one of the worst baby names in 2020, your little one will suffer a constant barrage of inane questions. "Hey Alexa, is it going to rain today?" then Alexa says yes and spits on them, ends up in the principal's office... It's just a whole ordeal.
Karen started jumping onto the worst baby names list upon the release of the 2004 movie Mean Girls. Karen was a bumbling but well intentioned character with more boobs than brains... The usage slowly evolved and now means an entitled mother with a spray tan and an 'I want to talk to your manager' haircut. It used to be a decent name, but internet memes have taken their toll on it in a big way.
An adult male Karen is usually called a Kevin, while her precious little angel that can never do wrong is referred to as a Caleb. All of these names are to be avoided like the plague, but I can guarantee that Karens have it a lot harder than Kevins due to the connotation that comes along with it.
How sincere will your little girl be if they're given this name? Probably not very... They'll very likely spend an inordinate amount of time coming up with nicknames for themselves. Commonly used words are just a terrible idea in general, even if you do put a different spin on the spelling. I once dated someone named Memory and I'll give you one guess as to what the most common response was upon making introductions...
That's right. "I'll be sure to remember that." And then we'd all laugh and pretend like it was a completely original statement when in reality it made both of us cringe hard enough to fracture a vertebrae. Then again, siblings were named Joy and Charisma so maybe they got off light compared to someone named Cyncere.
What's in a name? Starlett could very well grow up and become a successful lawyer or cancer researcher, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't have another connotation. It's not a far cry from Scarlett, and runs along the same lines as Candy or Coco or Chardonnay.
Probably none of them are ideal names because they carry some heaven connotations. There are plenty of names that have the same connotation, Might Starlett grow up and be a star of the silver screen? Perhaps, but they might not be the sort of films that a parent would approve of...
It was a tough call between Blaykelee and Neveah, but seeing as this list is all about the current year I had to give the edge to the butchering of Blakely. Don't write off Neveah though, it was one of the most popular names in 2012. Terrifying. Neveah also reminds me of Nivea or L'Oreal, which are also popular.
There's something to be said about brand loyalty, but don't do that to your kids. Naming your kid after a brand is only slightly less heinous than purposely mangling the spelling of a common name. Every single time they have to give their name to someone, they'll need to spell it out. That's just cruel.
What Should I Do If My Girl Has One Of The Worst Baby Names?
Just because they ended up with one of the worst baby names, doesn't mean it's the end of the world. In most countries it isn't a problem to simply change your name to just about anything of your own choosing. My own mother changed her name over a decade ago. It was strange at first, but we eventually got used to it. Maybe you're stubborn like I am and don't want to change anyone's name. Well, here's your inspiration: There is a successful doctor named Marijuana Pepsi, and she completely owns it. She realizes that it's a strange name but the fact that she doesn't let it get her down means that it is far from the worst baby girl names out there.
All this to say, just because your child doesn't have a cool name, that doesn't mean they shouldn't have some cool shoelaces! Check out our no tie curly neon shoelaces and curly pastel shoelaces. At the very least they should put anywhere from 5-10 points back on the cool meter.