Nobody said raising kids is easy. It can be fun and rewarding, but there will definitely come a time that you need to put your foot down and take corrective action against unwanted behaviors. It can be unpleasant, but without a doubt it is necessary. Today we will be taking a look at 4 of Diana Baumrind's different parenting styles and their individual methods of discipline, and the pros and cons that either make them effective or not.
I'll go ahead and reveal before we even get started that authoritative parenting is undoubtedly the preferred method with the largest amount of benefits. While all children have different needs that statement has mostly to do with parenting practices, not the different parenting styles. You can be more or less demanding or warm without shifting into a different style. Consistency is ever important.
Attempt to read this article on different parenting styles with an open mind and ask yourself the question of which category you fall into. Answer that question honestly and allow it to initiate some self-reflection. My hope is that it will allow a certain amount of insight into discipline. We can all improve our parenting, myself included.
Absolutely the most worrying of the different parenting styles, this is the type of parent who has completely checked out mentally. They give their kids no input either positive or negative and as a result their children are far more impulsive and less able to control their emotions.
In short, kids of neglectful parents are unable to react to situations properly because no example has been set. Uninvolved parents do not set boundaries, but are also indifferent to their child's needs. These children have sadly been set up for failure due to the inattentive nature of their guardians.
The physical and social ramifications of having an uninvolved parent is a gargantuan laundry list. Children of uninvolved parents have higher rates of drug abuse and suicide. There is positively no pro to uninvolved parenting. Rest assured that if you cared enough to make it to this blog, this isn't you.
Permissive parenting has seen a definite resurgence lately. Permissive parents are warm and indulgent, but they dislike saying no and generally fail to set or enforce rules or boundaries for their little ones. While it sounds like heaven for a kid there is proof that it can lead to an entirely different set of problems.
While you might just shrug and say "kids will be kids" your child is steadily losing respect for authority. Children of permissive parents have worse self-control than their peers and don't respect rules that are set before them. All of this is topped off with egocentric tendencies, which can create a nightmare situation.
I was raised by a permissive parent who set rules but didn't have the time or patience to follow through and enforce them. Children seek consistency and a strong hand to guide them. I've made special efforts to avoid being overly lenient with my children while attempting not to fall into the next different parenting style.
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While it sounds extremely similar to the ideal different parenting style, it is a far cry from authoritative parenting. Is your household run with an iron fist? You might be an authoritarian parent. This different parenting style gives no regard to the needs of the children. Rules are set and enforce without any amount of consideration.
When children of authoritarian parents make a mistake they are simply made to feel sorry about it. Ideally, you should speak to your child and involve them in a conversation regarding what decisions they could've made that would result in a more ideal outcome. Kids know when they mess up, drilling that into them does nothing to help. Administer punishment and move forward.
Authoritarian parents might notice their little ones are often insecure and unhappy. These children will also be less independent due to being held under their guardian's thumbs at every turn. While a strong hand is needed there is no reason whatsoever to go overboard. Of the different parenting styles, most shift between #2 and #3 but we should all be aiming for the final different parenting style on this list.
Highly demanding, balanced with being highly responsive? Here we have the parenting pinnacle, the authoritative parent! Within this different parenting style is a fine balance between warm and demanding that can be adjusted as needed. Most of us don't reach this bar consistently because the world isn't black and white, but that should never keep us from trying.
Feel free to enforce rules and consequences, but always remember to take your child's feelings into account. Explain the reasoning behind rules, and assist your kids in making better choices when they end up stepping out of line. This allows you to validate your little ones feelings while still making it perfectly clear that you are in control.
Authoritative parenting is the most beneficial of the different parenting styles, and kids that are raised experiencing this type of parenting receive huge benefits. These are children that perform better in school, can operate independently, have good self-esteem, and exhibit less violent tendencies.
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Different Parenting Styles Conclusion
We all make mistakes while parenting. It simply wouldn't be human if we didn't, but we should strive to establish and keep an authoritative parenting style. It feels like I mention consistency in every post I've made, but it truly is one of the most important aspects of effective parenting.
There are times I've been too tough on my kids and had to apologize to them for my flub. At others I've not been there when they needed me, and I've had to explain to them that even parents can make a mistake. It is not an easy thing to do, but in the end it's important that they're able to evaluate your actions from a parenting perspective.
Some kids will be too young to grasp the concept. My son is two and we are just working on how time-out works, but my nine year old daughter is more than capable of understanding and respects that I'm simply doing the best I can just like she is. As long as my children are putting their best foot forward I'll never fault them for it.
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